The Supreme Court’s ruling (Citizens United v. FEC) essentially gave corporations, in the name of free speech, the right to spend unlimited amounts of money to influence the outcomes of public elections and dictate legislative agendas. In effect, the Supreme Court affirmed that money is equivalent to speech.
But if one buys that argument—that money is equivalent to speech—then one must also buy that speech is equivalent to money; what’s fair is fair. Equivalency is a two-way street.
With that in mind, I want to notify my corporate creditors that, beginning with the next billing cycle, all future payments will be made in the form of a short speech. The current exchange ratio of 1:1 (one word = one dollar) will apply. Subject of speeches is limited to a single issue, the evils of corporate greed. Creditors may choose either telephone or e-mail as the vehicle for payment delivery.
If the 99% got on board with this by midnight tonight, we could end the global economic crisis by noon tomorrow.