Payback is a Bitch

The Supreme Court’s ruling (Citizens United v. FEC) essentially gave corporations, in the name of free speech, the right to spend unlimited amounts of money to influence the outcomes of public elections and dictate legislative agendas. In effect, the Supreme Court affirmed that money is equivalent to speech.

But if one buys that argument—that money is equivalent to speech—then one must also buy that speech is equivalent to money; what’s fair is fair. Equivalency is a two-way street.

With that in mind, I want to notify my corporate creditors that, beginning with the next billing cycle, all future payments will be made in the form of a short speech. The current exchange ratio of 1:1 (one word = one dollar) will apply. Subject of speeches is limited to a single issue, the evils of corporate greed. Creditors may choose either telephone or e-mail as the vehicle for payment delivery. 

If the 99% got on board with this by midnight tonight, we could end the global economic crisis by noon tomorrow.

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More Right-wing Wackiness (As if there wasn’t enough, already.)

Ginni Thomas, wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, left a phone message asking Anita Hill to apologize for accusing Justice Thomas, during his confirmation hearings, of sexual misconduct. Huh? Since when do victims owe their victimizers an apology?

After reviewing the details of the case, though, I reached the conclusion that Ms. Hill does indeed owe Justice Thomas an apology. In the interests of justice (and Ginni’s satisfaction), I’ll go so far as to suggest the wording for Ms. Hill’s apology and post it here, on a public forum, on Ms. Hill’s behalf:

I’m sorry you’re such an unapologetic asshole, Clarence.

Signed,

Anita

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